Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Am I the biggest loser?

Something has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I tried ignoring it, then telling myself I was being petty. Every other solution has failed me so here I go, rant time...

All my life I have tried to live life the right way. I have worked hard, paid my taxes and generally tried to be a good person. A few weeks ago, I started watching the biggest loser. Week after week, I have been watching people who have systematically abused their bodies being given huge opportunities.

Even now, listening to these people talking about their experiences, I am really jealous and to be honest wondering why I bother. I'm not proud of that attitude, it's definitely not my best side.

Obviously there is some unacknowledged need in me that I feel is not being met. I think what is going on in my little head is that I don't think anyone acknowledges my efforts or does so with sincerity.

This blog is charting myself development as much as my journey to Macchu Picchu. Here I am, for the first time seeing some deep seated need. Something that actually I cannot ask anyone else to meet. I'm not sure how to deal with it, but I do feel better for recognising it.

On a separate note; I wonder if some of us remain single for longer because we have a few more rough edges to knock off than others -hey does this mean I am really starting to be a proper grown up??

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod

Location:Ranting in my bedroom

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