All my life I have tried to live life the right way. I have worked hard, paid my taxes and generally tried to be a good person. A few weeks ago, I started watching the biggest loser. Week after week, I have been watching people who have systematically abused their bodies being given huge opportunities.
Even now, listening to these people talking about their experiences, I am really jealous and to be honest wondering why I bother. I'm not proud of that attitude, it's definitely not my best side.
Obviously there is some unacknowledged need in me that I feel is not being met. I think what is going on in my little head is that I don't think anyone acknowledges my efforts or does so with sincerity.
This blog is charting myself development as much as my journey to Macchu Picchu. Here I am, for the first time seeing some deep seated need. Something that actually I cannot ask anyone else to meet. I'm not sure how to deal with it, but I do feel better for recognising it.
On a separate note; I wonder if some of us remain single for longer because we have a few more rough edges to knock off than others -hey does this mean I am really starting to be a proper grown up??
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod
Location:Ranting in my bedroom
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